It is a common phrase of advice. You hear it all the time. ‘Just be yourself.’ It sounds like a great achievement we all strive toward. But hold on a minute. What does this mean?
It’s confusing — Is a narcissist supposed to stay narcissistic because of who they are? Should people with social phobias just stay locked in their walls?
The true self is fearless and unmasked.
Now think about this: the narcissist and the hermit are not being who they really are. They are overshadowed by their self-fear and thoughts. True selves are letting go of labels and clouded judgments placed on us. No pretentious masks. We are who we are when we shed off cloaks of other people. When we claim ‘this is who I am’, it is just a self-assumption. A lifetime of accumulated beliefs and thoughts are ingrained in you to shape your life and you need to reshape into the real you.
Reach your ‘inner child’ and loosen up a little bit.
Noticed how children freely do what they want to do and care little what the rest think? They stay happy in their moment. This is representative of true nature. They have not yet been socialized to fit in the norm. They do not care if people may think they are silly or reckless.
When we try to fit in the society, we suppress the true self-nature built from fearful thoughts about what others may think. If you are worried about being judged, it is not the real you that you’re worrying about, it is the you that’s created by the social norm.
Get in touch with you. Be available to yourself.
Be aware of the quality of your thoughts. Allow yourself some quiet moments every day. Observe your thoughts carefully. Our unconscious beliefs have been handed down by others, and this is who we believe we are. Let go of old beliefs that boggle your present and reveal the true you. We are more than that old ingrained negative thoughts.
Follow your intuition.
The most important part of being you is to follow your intuition. When you feel obligated to others, their happiness becomes more important than yours. You ignore your urge to move to a new place, you stay at unfulfilling jobs because you are afraid of what others may think of you. Stepping out of the comfort zones make you look like a failure to others, so you stick to your old habits and build incredible unhappiness.
When you start following your urges and desires, you hop onto a pathway destined for awesomeness. No denying there may be humps and bumps on the road, but when you are aligned with the calling of your inner soul, you steer into the best direction ahead. If you are miserable in a job that is out of character for you, quit it. You will land back on your feet in time in an even better job.
Evaluate how much you care about other people’s perceptions of you, and you may find that you’ve stuffed your natural self away into a binding locked box. Suppressing yourself to fit in and please others may bring you anger, depression, and shyness which is not really the true you.
When you feel like getting attached to labels or stories, relax, breathe and get into the moment. Think about how you would act in that situation if you did not care what other thought of you. Let go of the thoughts about how others think about you, do what you love, and you’ll connect your true nature with your inner happiness, allowing your real self to shine.
Article by Nena Tenacity, Lifehack